The Way We Smash
by Masterman
Summary: This details the daily activities and mishaps the Smash 4 cast go through while living together. I've played every Smash game so far and I'm looking forward to Smash 4, so I found it fitting to write about the trials and tribulations of such great characters whenever my imagination knocks. It's overall meant to be a good time; through the hectic and the mellow.


_**The Way We Smash**_

Chapter 1: Chaos For Breakfast

* * *

I will go ahead and warn you now; if you don't enjoy script-style dialogue or if it doesn't appeal to you, then you may not enjoy this fic. I know people that can't stand script-format, so I just thought I would throw that out there. It's my preferred method of writing, so I hope it does not completely turn people off.

* * *

_**9:42 A.M. At the Smash Mansion**_

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEE-

Captain Falcon tossed and turned in his bed until he finally smashed his alarm clock with his fist. He grabbed his pillow and hugged it as he mumbled to himself.

Captain Falcon: I wonder...if...bacon tastes better...when...oh...don't run away...bacon...

Ike, the blue-haired swordsman of the Greil Mercenaries, was already awake and had his clothes on. The two were roommates. As he messed with his hair in the mirror, he eyed Captain Falcon and laughed.

Ike: Dreaming...heh. Bacon...hmm...I wonder who's cooking breakfast?

As Ike closed the door behind him he encountered Pit in the hallway, who looked like a zombie. Pit limped down the hall and slouched with his head down; his wings were all dull looking and depressed.

Pit: Hey, Ike.

Ike: Geez, Pit. You look...bad.

Pit: Not my fault. Pikachu, Yoshi, and Kirby were up all night dancing in their room. I couldn't sleep..I have to change rooms.

Ike: Wow, man. You need to go lie down. You look like you're about to die. Well, you look like you're already dead...

Pit: Just rub it in, Ike. Thanks.

Pit sighed and limped down the hall to go into the bathroom to check himself out. Ike shook his head, put on his usual scowl-look, and approached a door on the right with the words, "Marth and Fox's Room", down the hall. He knocked on the door, opened it, and peeked inside.

Ike: Marth, time to get up. We need to spar before it gets too hot outside.

Marth wasn't in his room. His bed was already made and his room was spotless. His roommate was Fox, who was probably taking a shower since Fox always took hour long showers in the morning. Ike could feel the hot steam emanating from under the bathroom door.

Ike: Huh. I wonder where he's off to?

Ike closed the door and kept walking down the hallway, puzzled. As he began to walk down the steps, he caught the scent of eggs and french toast in the kitchen. He was in love.

Ike then began to bound down the steps and jog into the kitchen, hoping to grab a bite to eat before his sparring session.

Samus, Bowser, and Peach were in the kitchen making the breakfast while Link sat at the table, trying to watch Bowser's technique. Link was a curious guy; he always wanted to learn something. Link was never much of a chef, but he could make what he needed to. A nice grilled cheese sandwich with Lon Lon Milk would make Link a happy camper.

Ike: Hey guys! Wonderful morning, isn't it!?

Samus glanced at Ike and then turned her head back to what she was doing.

Samus: Hey. You're up early...that's unusual.

Ike: I was going to get in a sparring session with Marth at 10, but the guy isn't even in his room. You seen him?

Samus: Yeah, he got up at the same time Link did at around 8:30. He said something about pranking Lucina.

Link nodded and put two fingers slightly above his head, like he was imitating an insect with antennae.

Peach: He went to go find some roaches..or bugs or something. She hates bugs.

Ike: Oh boy. So he's probably at the creek or something. Well, I'll just wait on him I guess.

Bowser: Yeah! Take a load off in Bowser's Kitchen! Mwahahaha! I should make a TV show out of this.

Ike: Chef Bowser's Monstrous Kitchen. Chef Bowser cooks your favorite dishes with the assistance of his two blonde concubines. Sounds like a good concept. You should get on that.

Bowser froze in place and smiled. He then grabbed Samus on his left and Peach on his right.

Bowser: How does that sound, ladies?

They both inched away from Bowser and sighed in disgust. Peach shook her head as she glared at Ike, who only shrugged in defense.

Peach: Don't give him ideas.

Link then stood up and approached Bowser at the stove from behind. Bowser felt Link's presence and immediately whirled around with his spatula in hand, pointing it at Link's face like a weapon.

Bowser: What do you want!? Don't you DARE touch me!

Link jumped back, startled. He raised his hands high and shook his head furiously. Bowser relaxed and went back into his normal stance as he turned back toward the stove. Link looked back at Ike and once again, Ike shrugged.

Samus: I think he wants to watch you cook, Bowser.

Bowser: He wouldn't be the first if I had my own TV show...

Peach: Oh my God...

Ike chuckled to himself and began to read the newspaper that was conveniently lying in front of him on the table. He began to read about the article that said: "Elusive maniac races down highway with banana in hand. Police cannot catch the lunatic." Ike tossed the newspaper away.

Ike: Nothing to read in the newspaper.

Soon after he tossed it, Pit walked into the kitchen. Peach noticed Pit out of the corner of her eye and screamed as she dropped some french toast on a plate.

Peach: Pit, what happened to you?!

Pit sighed and didn't say a word. He plopped on the couch and turned the TV on, clearly not in good spirits. Zelda, Little Mac, Mario, and Lucario then walked into the kitchen not too long behind Pit. Little Mac sat at the table beside Ike and the two gave each other a fist-bump.

Little Mac: Sleep good?

Ike: Fairly well. Falcon's in there dreaming about bacon.

Little Mac laughed and turned toward the stove. Bowser noticed him watching and wiggled his tail, something he always does when he's about to do something special. Bowser took his frying pan and flipped a pancake high into the air, then he tossed his frying pan behind his back and caught it with his left hand, catching the pancake in mid-flight. Little Mac was impressed.

Zelda: Wow, that was really good Bowser!

Mario made a "Hoo-Hoo!" noise and clapped in his seat alongside Zelda and Lucario.

Bowser beamed with pride and smiled at Peach, who only grunted in disgust. She hated when Bowser's confidence increased. Bowser's head was at an all-time high as he began to dance at the stove. Samus's eyes went wide as Bowser began to rock back and forth, humping the stove and saying, "YEAH YEAH YEAH!"

Ike burst out laughing as Bowser began to move his hips around in a circle, cooking bacon and spinning in place. Bowser eyed Samus and stretched his arms like he was about to hug her with a frying pan in his hand, but she quickly escaped before he could. Samus was NOT about to get sexually assaulted by the creature.

Link, however, was fascinated. He began to imitate Bowser's moves and it almost looked like there was going to be a dance-off. Bowser studied Link in wonder, and laughed.

Bowser: You got moves, Link!

Link then ran up to the stove and did the same humping motions as Bowser, with a giant smile on his face and screaming, "HIYA HIYA HIYAAAAA!", during each thrust. Peach and Zelda's faces turned a deep red as Link pounded the stove with Bowser's encouragement. Ike and Little Mac chanted, "Go Link!", as Link continued his stove assault. Even Pit felt a little better as he watched from the living room.

Samus couldn't help but laugh as she poured coffee into a mug, too distracted to pour it correctly. Suddenly, the door to the backyard opened, and in came Marth with bags under his eyes. His eyes were bloodshot, but his hair and facial features were unfazed. He just stood there, breathing heavily. As Ike opened his mouth to speak, Marth revealed an average sized jar full of beetles, spiders, and other bugs. Marth got a glimpse of what Link was doing, but quickly ignored it as he approached Ike. Marth was extremely satisfied with his performance and didn't mind the sacrifice of sleep or health.

Marth: Ike..I'm going to get her good.

Ike: What are you going to do?

Marth: I'm going to go in her room and put these on her sheets! Hehehehe. I'll watch her squirm and scream. I'll record it. And I will watch it every night from now on before I go to bed.

Samus: That isn't creepy at all.

Peach: Seriously. You've become so obsessed with Lucina.

Marth: You mistake obsession with vengeance, woman.

Peach's mouth went agape. She was about two seconds from tossing off the oven mitts and giving Marth a piece of her mind until Mario got up and quelled her anger. Marth was always quite ill when he didn't get his usual eight hours of beauty sleep. The rudeness of his words and demeanor was full evidence.

Little Mac: You're starting a war, Marth. You sure about this?

Ike: Yeah, she's going to go all-out on killing you after something like this. You'll never be able to sleep again.

Marth: Oh, it's worth it. Hahahahehehe, oh it's worth it.

Marth cackled like a mad scientist as he fondled the jar and kissed the glass. He rubbed it like a child.

Samus: That is beyond creepy. Seriously, Marth. We're going to call Master Hand down here to check out your mental-

Marth: -Samus, hush. I know what I am doing. You think you all are so better than me! Peach, did we complain or call you insane when you had your rivalry with Rosalina? No.

_When Rosalina was introduced as a newcomer for Smash 4, Peach had a bit of jealousy toward Rosalina. The fact that she and Mario had such a close relationship did not help things either; and it was the last straw when Bowser complimented Rosalina's beauty instead of Peach's. The two women battled each other often and, during Donkey Kong's birthday party, Peach rammed Rosalina into Donkey Kong's giant banana cake. The sheer amount of potassium was unbelievable. After that incident, the two made amends and eventually grew to become friends, despite their animosity over the most trivial of things._

Marth turned to Samus and approached her.

Marth: And Samus. Do we call you insane or complain when you have your arguments with Fox all the time? No! So get off of my back and let me do as I please!

_Fox and Samus did not see eye-to-eye either. After players dubbed Fox as "top-tier" during his reign in Super Smash Bros. Melee, Fox's ego shot through the roof. He became an arrogant little critter and felt as though he could do anything better than anyone else. He became a pretty-boy and he could almost be viewed as condescending in his words toward others. He wasn't always bad though, and a proper wake-up call, usually a slap or punch from Samus, would bring him back to his senses. Samus did not like Fox's arrogance, and she would usually go out of her way just to prove him wrong one way or another. The two didn't hate each other, but their disagreements led to them become something like "frenemies", and Samus always enjoyed Fox's misfortune whenever it happened._

Marth began to cuddle the jar like a small toddler and brushed his cheeks against the exterior. He began to foam at the mouth as he chuckled and his wide-eyes made him look like something out of the horror movie the gang had watched weeks ago; The Walking Goomba.

Lucario: He's lost it.

Samus and Peach were both about to beat the shit out of Marth until Ike held them back.

Ike: Hey hey hey! Come on now. He hasn't had enough sleep and-

Ike looked around Marth and noticed Lucina standing directly behind him, awoken and looking forward to breakfast.

Ike: -Oh, hi Lucina.

Marth was startled. He hid the jar in his pants and kept his back toward Lucina so she couldn't see it. Marth gritted his teeth so hard that you could hear it over the sizzles of bacon on the stove.

_You see, Marth had a rivalry, or as Peach would say, an obsession, with Lucina ever since she came to the mansion. When they first met, Marth met her with such negativity that she eventually grew tired of his cold remarks. Everyone told Marth that Lucina was his long lost sister, and the anger that would pour out of him afterward made everyone laugh. It became a running gag, and Marth fell under the impression that everyone liked the "goody two-shoes" Lucina more than they liked him even though he was a Smash veteran. This wasn't the case at all; in fact, almost everyone enjoyed Marth's company...but he couldn't see that due to his overreactions. _

_Marth had a certain distrust for Lucina, because they looked alike and because of her polished skills with a blade. He never appreciated her despite her efforts to help out around the mansion. She pranked him about a week ago; stealing his pants and making him run around Smash City naked after the baseball game at the park. He blamed Lucina for the defeat of his team, and Lucina had had enough of his tireless ridiculing. Marth was so pissed off that he devoted every day, from that day forward, to the destruction of his nemesis, Lucina. He had become almost obsessed, and even his best friend Ike couldn't prevent it._

Lucina: Hi, Ike! Hi, everyone!

Lucario: You look well, Lucina. Too bad Marth is...bugging out.

Lucario slapped himself after uttering such a terrible pun. He got up and excused himself from the table as he began to walk to the backdoor leading to the backyard. Bowser caught on and turned toward Lucina, offering her a hug. She accepted, and Bowser whispered in her ear.

Bowser: Does Marth ever...bug you?

Lucina looked at Bowser, confused. She scratched her head and looked over at Peach and Samus.

Lucina: Well..he's weird. Look. Why is he all hunched over and staring at me?

Marth quickly turned his head and began to watch the TV in the living room. Ike noticed.

Ike: Marth, that TV has a bunch of bugs in it. Sometimes, it will turn off randomly or the colors will be messed up. Real buggy.

Marth seethed in anger.

Little Mac: I've always wanted to drive a dune buggy.

Marth gritted his teeth harder.

Peach: Have you guys ever seen that movie, It's A Bug's Life?

Marth had been defeated. He waddled into the living room and sat down on a recliner near Pit. He mumbled and raged under his breath as he removed the jar from his pants. Pit looked over and groaned in disgust.

Lucina: What was that all about?

Pikachu, Kirby, Yoshi, and Diddy Kong all came running down the stairs. They each ran in a different direction, laughing, clearly enjoying themselves. Greninja came dashing down after them, and he looked in every direction, clearly confused. They were playing hide-and-go-seek, and Greninja was the seeker. He used his tongue to scan the area (kinda like a snake does to catch scents and a sense of direction), and he quickly ran to the backyard as Diddy Kong's scent was the strongest.

Samus handed Link the first plate, as he was the first at the table, and he began to utterly demolish the plate ravenously. Zelda was amazed at how quickly Link ate his food.

Fox bounded down the stairs and slid into the kitchen with his fresh, new black socks he bought at Smash-Mart. He began to do the moon-walk and spun around in circles like Michael Jackson. Fox was an arrogant animal. Ever since he was announced as "Top Tier" in Super Smash Bros. Melee, Fox's ego shot through the roof and he thought he was the best at everything, much to everyone else's dismay.

Samus: You missed the dance competition, Fox. You're late.

Fox: What dance competition? When?

Ike: Earlier. Link and Bowser had an epic dance-off. You should have seen it.

Fox: Dammit! I would have won now that I have these socks!

Link pointed at Fox, laughed, and shook his head. The whole kitchen was filled with, "Ooooo's", as Link denied Fox. Fox grew angry.

Fox: I'm sorry Link, but you couldn't beat me in a dance battle. Have I mentioned these cocks?

Little Mac: Cocks?

Fox: That was a typo on the writer's part. I guess he didn't feel like backspacing.

Bowser: That lazy good-for-nothing...

Fox: But anyway, I meant socks!

Sonic, Pac-Man, and Megaman all came down the stairs to catch the commotion.

Sonic: Did someone say dance battle? Sonic's got the best moves in the business!

Fox: Uhh..no, you don't. I've won numerous dance battles in Corneria.

Sonic: Yeah, against handicapped hippos. What's your point, bro?

The whole kitchen laughed as Fox began to grit his teeth like Marth.

Link pounded his fist on the table and walked up to Fox. He did a split and did numerous pelvic thrusts in Fox's face. Fox stared in terror as he backed away from the man in the green tunic.

Sonic: How about we settle this today, then? A dance-battle?

Fox: Please. You guys don't stand a chance.

Little Mac: There's a stage thing downstairs. You guys could perform there while we all watch.

Sonic: Yeah, and you guys will be the judges.

Fox: That's not fair!

Sonic: How come?

Fox: I've already lost one vote because Samus hates me!

Samus: That's true.

Sonic: So? Stop being a crybaby. If you're so good, that one vote shouldn't matter now should it?

Fox mumbled under his breath.

Sonic: What did you say?

Fox: I said, shjfhfufuyousuckdjgghj.

Sonic: You're scared? Is that what I heard?

Peach: WAIT A MINUTE!

Peach's exclamation put everyone in a frozen state and speechless. As everyone stared at her, she began to tremble in fear.

Bowser: What is it?

Peach: There's...there's...

Mario leaned in closer to hear.

Peach: There's...no more bacon...

A phone could be heard dropping in the distance. It was Captain Falcon. He had just walked into the kitchen and this news made him lose faith in humanity. As he stood, in silence, his mouth went agape.

Lucina stared at Captain Falcon, whose muscles began to bulge as he shook in place. Captain Falcon raised his fist high and made a furious expression with his face. Peach felt awful and was going to apologize, but Captain Falcon interrupted.

Captain Falcon: We have to get more.

Samus: Smash-Mart closes at 11:30.

Little Mac: 11:30? Why?

Samus: Because Sakurai is a troll. It's open from 7 to 11:30. AM.

Little Mac: That is so stupid!

Captain Falcon: We have 25 minutes then. I'll get there.

Samus: But..you have to purchase it too. If you're still in there after 11:30...you're trapped there...until tomorrow.

Bowser: Completely at the mercy of Sakurai...

…

Bowser: Well, it was nice knowing you Falcon.

Captain Falcon: No. I will return with the bacon. Because Captain Falcon always brings home the bacon.

Fox: And the ham. Here we go with another hammy speech.

Captain Falcon: I will not let a mere store bring fear upon the Falcon name. I, Captain Falcon, will raze the store from the ground-up. I will find the bacon, and I will purchase it with my Smash Bucks. All 3 and a half of them. No bacon will escape the Falcon. The early bird gets the worm and you're always the early bird when you're a Falcon. Believe in me, who believes in you. I am Captain Falcon, and I will not let time, or anything deter my determination. I will see this through until the very end. I will not let a simple obstacle ruin my plans. I dreamed about bacon so I. WILL. EAT. BACON.

As Marth listened to Captain Falcon's speech, he looked at his bugs and felt a resonance with Captain Falcon's words. He wouldn't let a simple obstacle ruin his plans either. He was going to prank Lucina, no matter what.

Sonic: Impressive speech Falcon, but you just wasted three minutes.

Captain Falcon: Come, Ike. Little Mac, Fox, Sonic, Megaman, Link. Let us go get the bacon!

Fox: Wait what? Why do I have to go?

Captain Falcon: Come on! Hurry!

Ike: Uhhh...

Captain Falcon: If you all don't come, I'll tell Sakurai that you all were the ones that hacked into his Miiverse account.

The gang hurriedly followed Captain Falcon, except for Megaman. Megaman knew better than to race against time. Since Megaman was a Capcom IP, he didn't spend too much time around Sakurai; however, after his audition for this game, no man terrified the Blue Bomber more than the man named Sakurai. The thought of being trapped with him in a supermarket for a whole day scared him beyond belief. He slumped in his seat, hoping that the gang wouldn't notice his absence.

...

Bowser: Well...more food for us!

Mario munched on his pancake as Luigi came down to sit by his brother. Luigi yawned and patted Mario on his back as he looked around.

Luigi: Where are they-a going?

Mario: To Smash-a Mart-a.

Luigi gasped. Mario nodded.

Diddy Kong ran back into the kitchen with a beetle on his hat as Greninja tagged him. Diddy Kong pouted in disappointment, but as he did so, Lucina nearly jumped through the ceiling.

Lucina: GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME.

Bowser: What, Diddy Kong?

Lucina: NO, THAT...THAT...UGH!

Marth laughed in his seat while Pit snored on the sofa. Marth was going to enjoy his plan.

Zelda and Palutena were washing the dishes as they saw Kirby, Pikachu, Yoshi, and Lucario outside in the backyard through the window. They were all playing with the bugs on the ground while Olimar and his Pikmin studied them nearby. Zelda thought to herself, "Marth, what have you done?"

Zelda: Marth dug up all around that area searching for bugs...

Palutena: And now they're exposed and have no home, yes?

Zelda: Yep. So now we're going to have to wait a few days before they go underground again.

Palutena: Yuck.

Zelda: I know. Plus, the backyard is all ugly now.

Palutena: Why does he need bugs?

Zelda: To mess with Lucina. She hates them.

Palutena: He's starting a war that he can't finish...

* * *

_**Outside in the Backyard**_

Lucario played with the ladybugs and beetles that were marching along the mud and grass outside. A creek flowed not too far away and it seemed as though that was what they were gunning for. As Lucario studied the insects, his jaw dropped as he looked up and saw the greatest water-slide ever conceived.

Lucario: Woah...how long has that been there?

Kirby smiled as he poked Pikachu on the head and pointed at the slide. Yoshi cheered and danced in place as they all began to "Ooooo" and "Ahhhh".

Lucario: Should we go try it?

Yoshi immediately nodded and raced the other creatures to the slide. Pikachu wasn't far behind but Lucario stopped him.

Lucario: Pikachu..maybe you should go last..you know, once we get out of the pool.

Pikachu frowned and glared at Lucario, who quickly retracted his statement and let Pikachu do as he pleased. Lucario shook his head as King Dedede waddled behind him. Greninja and Diddy Kong came as well, and they all looked at the slide in disbelief.

The slide had a sign at the very top of the ladder that said, "This is Totally Safe! :)", and Lucario tilted his head sideways upon reading it.

Lucario: I can't help but notice the sarcasm in that sign.

King Dedede: It doesn't look too bad. I won't be getting on it though.

Greninja and Diddy Kong ran past the two to catch up with the others. Lucario followed and immediately did a sort of...teleport move...to put him in front of the others.

_Lucario acted as a sort of guardian or big brother to the other creatures, and he always put their safety first especially since he was so hard on them usually. He eventually became their moral backbone of sorts, and would always guide them as best he could, even at the cost of his own health._

He climbed the tall ladder and stood at the top of the slide as he turned around and looked down at the adventurous creatures following him. Yoshi, Kirby, Pikachu, Greninja, and Diddy Kong all stopped in their tracks to listen to Lucario.

Lucario: I'm going first to make sure this is safe, alright?

Lucario then turned around and looked down; worst mistake he ever made. He almost went cross-eyed as the height made him queasy. The blue slide was nothing but; it had no support on the sides or anything...it was just a giant blue slide. If you slid off of the side on accident, that was it. There was no padding at the bottom or anything. There was a type of water dispenser that would make water trickle down the slide in order to lubricate it and make the slide even faster; to also prevent burns too.

Lucario's legs trembled as he gripped support beams at the top of the slide. He began to mumble to himself, but there was no turning back. King Dedede watched in terror as Lucario hesitated at the top and Olimar's knees trembled FOR Lucario.

Lucario: Holy...oh my...woah...that is...sheesh.

Lucario then glanced down at King Dedede, and he was about to turn around to talk to his younger companions, but he slipped and went down the slide anyway. He fell on his ass and screamed as he sped down the slide like a blue comet. His eyes began to water as his cheeks flapped due to the speed and soon he couldn't breathe. The increasing speed snapped his neck back and as he reached the tip of the slide, he was launched through the stratosphere.

King Dedede: Where did he go?

A glint could be seen in the sky as Lucario's voice boomed in the sky. Olimar pointed at the glint and saw Lucario plunging through the clouds like a fallen meteor. Lucario flailed wildly as he screamed, "OH MY ARCEUUUUSSSSSSSSS!"

Lucario plummeted quickly and soon a shadow could be seen on King Dedede's face as his eyes grew wide. Lucario was about to land on him and Olimar casually sidestepped to the left. King Dedede couldn't react in time and Lucario crashed into him, dazed and confused. The crater that was created afterward rivaled those seen in shows like Dragon Ball Z. King Dedede was instantly knocked cold and Olimar helped Lucario on his feet. Lucario's eyes were like pinballs as they bounced around in his head and when he tried to focus, all he could see was floating chicken wings and stars. His legs buckled and felt like jelly, so he had to crawl around in order to maneuver. His body ached and his bones were yelling at him from the inside, demanding attention.

Lucario: That thing is a freaking missile simulator! I can't...NO!

Lucario crawled toward the slide and tried to prevent the young ones from going down but he was too late. Yoshi, Pikachu, Kirby, Greninja, and Diddy Kong had all went down the slide together, and Lucario clenched his face in worry. He went unconscious soon afterward.

* * *

_**On the Highway**_

The gang were all in the Blue Falcon, heading toward Smash-Mart. Numerous Koopa Troopa truck drivers blocked lanes preventing Captain Falcon from getting past them; unintentionally, though.

Captain Falcon: Come on! Get out of the way!

Fox: Falcon has extreme road rage!

Ike: Falcon, slow down! You're going over 130 mph!

Captain Falcon: BACON, IKE!

Ike: Woah, what is that?!

The gang looked over to the left lane and saw King Boo in a nice sports car, a silver-like Mustang with a crown on the roof. He had a banana peel in his hand and eyed Captain Falcon.

Ike: IT'S THE LUNATIC WITH THE BANANA!

Captain Falcon eyed him back and floored it. The Blue Falcon got up to speeds of over 170 mph and the Goomba Police Squad began to pursue.

Sonic looked back and saw the lights approaching from behind, but Captain Falcon payed it no attention.

Sonic: We've got cops!

Fox: Cops!? Oh sweet mother of Corneria, Falcon slow down! We've lost this battle! I can't get arrested...my permanent record will be tarnished!

Captain Falcon: NEVER.

Link cheered from his seat. He applauded Captain Falcon's tenacity and was hungry for more excitement.

One Goomba Policeman stuck his head out of the window as a Policeman Dry Bones held a megaphone over his mouth.

Goomba Policeman: Man in the blue vehicle, slow down and pull over. This is the Goomba Police Squad and we will not hesitate to call reinforcements.

Captain Falcon showed no signs of slowing down.

Goomba Policeman: Okay. Call the reinforcements.

The reinforcements showed up a few seconds later, composed of S.W.A.T. Team Koopas and Hammer Bros. in helicopters. They began to throw hammers down upon Captain Falcon but Captain Falcon dodged them. Smash News Channel 14 began to record the action and it broadcast the events on TV.

* * *

_**Smash Mansion**_

"This report is being brought to you by News Anchor, Tails Miles Prower. The scene is chaotic. A blue vehicle in the shape of a bird is speeding down Speed Highway and it shows no sign of stopping. The driver is reported to be a Douglas Jay Falcon and he's caught the attention of numerous Goomba Patrol Squads and even the SWAT Koopa Troopas. Another vehicle is also racing alongside them...a, King Boo, and he seems to be in on the action as well with a banana peel in his hand. We will keep you posted as more events unfold. I am news anchor, Tails Miles Prower, and my assistant here is cameraman, Monty Mole. We are signing out for now!"

Marth and Pit were in disbelief.

Marth: Guys, Captain Falcon is being chased by police!

Bowser: He's on TV!? Why am I not on TV!?

Peach: SHUT UP, BOWSER!

Pit: Yeah, we just saw him! They even have the SWAT after them!

Samus: Those idiots!

Peach: Oh my God...I am the cause of this...I got them arrested...

Lucina: You can't blame yourself. I just hope they're alright...

Marth glared at Lucina and snapped at her.

Marth: What do you care?

Lucina: I DO care, Marth. How about you turn around and stop looking at me? You're so creepy.

Marth folded his arms and turned around with the bulge in his pants.

Palutena: Why won't they just stop? Falcon could easily just surrender. They can't get arrested..can they?

Zelda: They can. Once Nintendo finds out...I'd hate to see what they'd do to them. They have 12 minutes...

Mario & Luigi: Momma mia!

* * *

_**Speed Highway**_

Captain Falcon dodged all of the hammers and red shells that were being thrown at him. Little Mac, Ike, Fox, and Sonic were all beyond scared while Link almost enjoyed the ride.

Sonic: Falcon, stop the car!

Ike: Sonic, why didn't you just run to the mart and got the bacon instead?

Sonic: ….

Fox: Because the writer is too stupid to think of that! And now that he has, he doesn't feel like deleting any of this due to his lack of logic!

Masterman: Shut up, Fox!

Fox: My name is Fox and I have rabies.

Ike: Rabies? What?! Fox!?

Fox: The writer made me say that! It wasn't me!

The Goomba Policemen were getting tired of chasing Captain Falcon.

Goomba Policeman: Throw the blue shell!

The Koopas in the helicopter prepared the mighty blue shell, a shell covered in spikes with wings on each side, that would explode upon impact and total any driver's car, no matter how good of a driver they were. It NEVER missed.

SWAT Koopa: Say goodnight, Falcon.

The Koopa tossed the blue shell from the helicopter door and watched as it flew directly on a crash course for the Blue Falcon. It targeted the Blue Falcon and came closer and closer.

Little Mac: What the hell is that?

Link pointed and gasped. His mouth trembled as he tried to make words but couldn't.

Link: HIYAAAAA!

Sonic: A blue shell? Holy-

Fox: OH MY SWEET BABY LANDMASTER. WE'RE GOING TO DIE!

Captain Falcon had a concerned look on his face. As he looked in his rearview, he began to sweat. He looked at the highway ahead of him and saw that the mart was only a few minutes away. He switched to the open right lane and told Ike to press the button in the glove compartment. A voice chimed from the vehicle and said, "YOU'VE GOT BOOST POWER."

Ike: What was that?

Captain Falcon: Boost power.

Ike mashed the button and time went to a stand-still. Captain Falcon glanced over to his left in slow-mo and saw that King Boo was about to take him out with the banana. Captain Falcon smiled and as time went back to normal, the Blue Falcon exceeded to speeds of over 230 mph. King Boo looked lost, and as the Blue Falcon sped away, the blue shell got confused and targeted King Boo instead.

An explosion could be seen in the background as the Blue Falcon sped away, unharmed. The gang cheered as the Blue Falcon slowed a bit and Captain Falcon opened the cockpit.

Fox: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Captain Falcon looked at Fox and then looked away.

Captain Falcon: Bacon.

Sonic saluted the racer and slapped Falcon on the back.

Captain Falcon launched himself from the cockpit of the Blue Falcon and soared toward Smash-Mart. He screamed as he became all teary-eyed and crashed through the side of the building with a mighty Falcon Kick. Ike, Link, Little Mac, and Fox were all stuck behind the wheel of the Blue Falcon, and none of them knew how to drive it. Sonic jumped out of the Blue Falcon and ran toward the mart on foot, leaving Little Mac, Ike, Link, and Fox behind.

Fox: How do we drive this thing!?

Ike: Uhh...what does that button do?

**Click.**

Fox: Windshield wipers! NOOOO!

Little Mac: We are so screwed.

Link then pushed Fox out of the way and jumped into the driver's seat. He grabbed the steering wheel and pushed the two buttons on the side of it and mashed the brakes as he pulled a lever on the other side of the steering wheel. The Blue Falcon screeched like a bird and began to slow down tremendously as it neared the parking lot.

Ike: Link, how did you do that?

Link smiled and shrugged. He then patted Fox on the head who was about to have a heart attack.

Little Mac: Well. I'm never riding with Captain Falcon again.

Ike: That's for damn sure.

As they stopped in a parking spot, they all breathed a sigh of relief. Captain Falcon was still in the mart however, and they only had four minutes left. Sonic had dashed in looking for him, but he couldn't find him.

Sonic: Falcon? Falcon, come on. We don't have much time!

Sonic searched from isle to isle and could not find Captain Falcon anywhere. He ran back to the meat area and searched for any traces of Captain Falcon. He was nowhere to be found.

Ike, Link, and Little Mac ran up to the windows of the mart to look for Captain Falcon, but they didn't see him anywhere. Fox kept the engine going so they could make a quick getaway.

Sonic: Falcon, COME ON! We've got two minutes! Falcon!

No sound.

Sonic: What do I do?

Sonic ran all the way around the store and finally found Captain Falcon at a check-out isle, with 10 packs of bacon. Wendy Koopa scanned the items on the scanner, but she talked so slow and It was holding Captain Falcon up. He grew impatient and threw money at her, more than enough to pay for the bacon, and he made a dash for the exit.

**15 seconds.**

Captain Falcon went into a full sprint as Sonic tried to hold the automatic doors open to no avail. Ike, Little Mac, and Link all tried to hold the doors open but it was too late. The doors closed as Captain Falcon got up to them. The mart had closed.

As Captain Falcon touched the door in disbelief that he didn't make it, his friends felt a sense of sadness that couldn't be described. Fox buried his head in shame as he saw Captain Falcon trapped inside. Sonic punched the door in anger and disappointment, feeling as though Falcon's capture was his fault. Ike couldn't believe it.

After all that, they lost.

Captain Falcon backed away from the door. As he stared at his friends, he took off his helmet. The look on his face took its toll on his friends...who began to walk back to the Blue Falcon. They had to avoid the police, who were still after them, and there was nothing they could do to save Captain Falcon.

Ike: Fox...let's go.

Fox: Guys...

Ike: Let's go.

The gang hopped into the Blue Falcon as Link took the wheel. As the cockpit closed, Link tried to take another look at Captain Falcon, but he was gone. Link gasped.

Little Mac: Where did he go?

Fox: Sakurai has him. It's what happens to everyone.

Ike: Dammit...

Little Mac: We'll get him tomorrow. Let's just hope he can endure.

Fox: But tomorrow is Friday. The mart is closed on Fridays.

Ike: Are you joking? And then it's the weekend!

Little Mac: He'll be stuck until Sunday!

Fox: ...This is bad.

Just then, the police came. They surrounded the Blue Falcon and multiple goombas in policehats jumped out of the cop car. They approached the Blue Falcon as SWAT Koopas climbed down from their ladders on the helicopters.

Goomba Policeman: We have you surrounded. Get out of the vehicle with your hands behind your heads. We don't want to use physical force.

Sonic laughed to himself.

Sonic: Physical force? All we have to do is jump on your head.

Goomba Policeman: ...How does he know that?

SWAT Koopa: He's friends with Mario. I think everyone knows our weakness.

Hammer Bro: But not mine.

The red Hammer Bro walked toward the vehicle and tapped on the cockpit. Link opened it up and got out of the Blue Falcon. He quickly drew his Master Sword and made the Hammer Bro back off but as he did so, around 20 other Hammer Brothers approached with riot shields and hammers.

Fox: Link, stand down. We're not winning this one.

The gang got out of the Blue Falcon and put their hands behind their heads as they kneeled on the pavement below. Metools, Koopas, Kremlings, Toads, and other pedestrians watched as news vans and more police cars surrounded the scene.

* * *

_**Smash Mansion**_

Everyone at the Smash Mansion watched as the gang of five were getting arrested on TV. Marth was astonished.

Zelda: This is bad...

Bowser: Those fools...

Olimar had just walked in, and his translator began to malfunction. In order for the characters to understand his language, he had to use a translator app in his SmartHelmet in order for them to understand.

Olimar: What did they do? Wibbly wubbly doo!

Bowser: Wibbly?

Marth: Wubbly?

Zelda: Doo?

Olimar: Sorry. My translator is having some errors. I'll restart it. Har har looka soma I nip nip.

Lucina: Where's Captain Falcon?

Peach: You're right...Captain Falcon isn't there...! Did he manage to get away?

Pit: Why aren't they resisting? They're just giving up! Charizard and I should go-

Charizard was asleep on the floor, and it would be a disaster to wake him.

Palutena: No. Don't you even think about it.

Pit: Sheesh. Yes ma'am.

Marth: Oh no, Ike... We can't just sit here and watch!

Bowser: That's EXACTLY what we're going to do.

Lucario, Yoshi, Greninja, Pikachu, Kirby, Diddy Kong, and King Dedede were on the floor in stretchers with bandages, bruises, and knots all over their bodies. They were sucking juice through tubes after the Waddle Dees at the hospital were called to come and patch them up. King Dedede had it the worst though, as he was in a full-body cast with only his eyes showing. He couldn't do anything but mumble. He looked like an obese mummy penguin.

Lucario: Why should we be incarcerated for their stupidity?

Yoshi was sad.

Bowser: Looks like you guys are incarcerated enough with those bandages.

Samus: Hey, what's that? On the corner of the screen?

Mario: Look-a! It's-a...!

Peach: Oh my-

* * *

_**Smash-Mart Parking Lot**_

As the gang of five were about to get hauled into the police vehicles, a flash of purple lit up the sky. As the cameramen turned their attention toward the flash, a voice boomed in the sky.

?: FALCON PAAAAAAAAAAWWWWNNNNCHHHHHHHH!

It was Captain Falcon. And he just punched a helicopter after soaring through the sky.

The helicopter spiraled downward and exploded before it even touched the ground. The policemen were shocked, and the gang of five took this opportunity to escape. Captain Falcon snapped his fingers and the Blue Falcon sped toward him, picking up the gang of five along the way. Captain Falcon pulled the lever on the side of the Blue Falcon and punched on the gas. The Blue Falcon zoomed off as the policemen gathered themselves to pursue. As they began to chase after the Blue Falcon once again, they were stopped by a peculiar sight.

It was the Villager.

_Not only did the Villager save its lightning bolts from the Mario Kart tournament that took place a few weeks ago, it also saved a few blue shells in the toolbox it carried around. The Villager was a peculiar individual. It always had a smile on its face and it was a severe kleptomaniac, meaning that it couldn't keep its hands off of things and always needed to take something in a room._

The Villager stood in the middle of the highway with an evil grin on its face, blue shell in hand. The policemen were scared shitless.

Goomba Policeman: P-Please..drop your weapon young man. We don't want to-

The Villager had the most villainous smile on its face as it began to run toward the police.

Goomba Policeman: Turn the car around.

The Dry Bones Policeman was too nervous to do anything. He was scared out of his mind.

Goomba Policeman: TURN THE CAR AROUND!

The blue shell was unleashed.

…

**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

* * *

_**Smash Mansion, 20 mins later**_

Peach: Soooo...the Villager was in the trunk the entire time?

Captain Falcon: Yeah, it followed us there.

Fox: We thought you were a goner man. We saw you get trapped in the mart and you still haven't explained how you got out.

Captain Falcon: Easy. I got out the way I came in.

Ike: …

Captain Falcon: I crashed through the wall getting in...so..I just jumped through the hole in the wall to get out. The store may have been closed, but how can you close down a hole in the wall?

Sonic: ….Wow.

Link gave Captain Falcon dap and smiled in his seat.

Captain Falcon: Yeah, but I heard Link did well today too. He managed to stop the Blue Falcon all by himself. Sonic did his thing too.

Sonic: Yeah. Fox, Ike, and Little Mac didn't do anything but scream the whole time.

Samus: I can totally believe that about Fox. Ike and Little Mac, though? What happened to you two?

Little Mac: Hey, I'm the one that spotted the blue shell!

Ike: And I was the one that saw the maniac King Boo with the freaking suicide banana! He was in the newspaper!

Lucina: A...banana? How odd...why a banana?

Mario: Bananas are-a great weapon-a! We use them in-a Mario Kart-a!

Bowser: Yeah, and if Luigi hit you with one he would give you this death stare like some kind of psycho killer. You should have seen the way he looked at Peach when he hit her with a green shell and won the race.

Luigi became embarrassed.

Peach: Yeah, what happened to you that day, Luigi?

Luigi: Momma mia...

Samus: So...Fox, what do you have to say for yourself?

Fox was silent as everyone eyed him.

Fox: I...well...I...

…

Fox: Where's the bacon?

Captain Falcon looked around and slapped his helmet. He could not believe what had just happened.

They left the bacon.

Everyone was dumbfounded.

Captain Falcon: Ike, Link, Sonic, Little Mac...Fox?

Ike, Sonic, Little Mac, & Fox: ….yeah?

Link just put his head down.

Captain Falcon: Let's go get that bacon back.

Everyone sighed.

As everyone sat in the living room talking about the chaos that had ensued, Marth was sitting in the recliner in the living room...quiet. He began to mumble to himself as he turned around and looked back at Lucina.

Marth: Hehehe...you will be mine. I won't give up. I'll get you...and you're going to pay.

Pit: What are you talking about?

Marth was startled.

Marth: Uhh..nothing. Nothing. Just..yaknow, thinking out loud!

Pit: ...oh...okay then. Hey, wanna play some chess?

Marth: Sure. I'm game. Heh...I'm in my own little game of chess right now. And it's about to be checkmate for someone in this house...

Pit: Who? Don't tell me you're still mad at Lucina.

Marth: Oh, you'll see. You all will see.

Just then, Donkey Kong, Rosalina, Pac-Man and The Wii Fit Trainer awoke from their slumber and came down the stairs.

Rosalina: What did we miss?

Donkey Kong's eyes went wide as he saw Diddy Kong with bandages all over his body. The Wii Fit Trainer jogged around the living room and poked Pit every time she went by him, much to Pit's anger. Pac-Man waka-wakka'd into the kitchen and was immediately disappointed that there was no food left.

Megaman shook his head as he saw the glint in Captain Falcon's visor.

Captain Falcon: What are we waiting for? Pac-Man is hungry. I know Donkey Kong and Charizard are going to want some delicious bacon! Let's go!

Sonic: Falcon...no. Sit down. I've got this.

Sonic dashed outside and came back within 10 seconds with the bags of bacon in hand. Pac-Man, Charizard, Donkey Kong, and Captain Falcon cheered in delight, but when they saw the look in Sonic's eyes, they quickly stopped.

Sonic: We've got a problem at the front door.

Ike: What is it? Cops?

Sonic: No...it's the Villager.

Samus: What about it?

Sonic: It's brought some bob-omb friends...the Villager wants to speak with King Dedede. It said something about a missing popsicle?

King Dedede screamed in his stretcher; his eyes became the size of dinner plates as Bowser pushed his stretcher down the hallway. The cast prevented King Dedede from saying anything, so all he could do was mumble and scream. Bowser laughed to himself as he opened the front door and pushed King Dedede outside to face the Villager and its army of Bob-ombs. King Dedede was going to pay for being such a glutton.

The Villager smiled as it walked toward King Dedede. King Dedede could do nothing but scream and cry as the screen faded to black.

* * *

End.

Enjoyed? Yes? No? I'm going to try to weave in all of the characters better next time, but I'm really just testing the waters with this one. Please let me know what you thought of this if you read it, because this is my first time doing anything with the Smash series as far as stories go.


End file.
